Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Bhaskar Solved.
Below is an entry from my husband, Asif's blog...
going, going, wait a minute, gone.
so today was bhaskar's last day as our driver. as of 2:55 this afternoon ravi is our new driver. it was a tough decision but we've decided that our comfort in the next year is with having a driver that is generally known to be honest and trustworthy. i made istikhara (a prayer asking for god for whatever is best when making a decision) and then met with the manager of facilities who makes all the decisions about driving.
wait back up.
so last night - bhaskar and i had a long talk where we (i) talked about honesty and how i felt when i learned about his dishonesty. i told him that kilometers didn't matter but it was the principle of being honest that was important to me. if i couldn't trust him with the books i couldn't trust him with my family. i asked him repeatedly if i could trust me and he assured me that i could. his responses were convincing and i felt that giving him another chance at honesty was the way for me to go.
backup a little more.
the manager of facilities came by and mentioned to me that my recently departed (left india not dead) friend's driver was available if i was interested in switching. ravi, has gotten rave reviews from my friend and from the management. he's trustworthy and honest. he has a pleasant demeanor. though tempted, i told the manager that i would get back to him after i spoke to bhaskar that night.
fast forward.
so i told the manager that i was ok with keeping bhaskar as my driver given that we talked and he seemed to be semi-sorry for what had happened and wanted to do better. the manager said that he would support me in any decision. he then asked the supervisor (reports to him) if this was the first time we had trouble with my driver. that's when things got clear. no, this wasn't the first time - this was his third warning. (ahem... three strikes and you're ...) when asked if the previous employee ever gave my driver bonuses, the supervisor said no - the occasional tip, yes - but the bonuses of magnitude which he asked for nope. so my suspicions were confirmed and i'm not one to marry someone to change 'em if you know what i mean. all praises are to Him for making my decision easier.
so in a memento-like narration, i come back to the point. bye bye bhaskar bhai bhai. ravi i will be seeing you sunny ravi. actually, he has sunday off.
thanks to all of you who offered your thoughts and advice. these are minuscule issues compared t the great challenges that people face every day in this world. i thank god that my problems are so small and so easily solved.
going, going, wait a minute, gone.
so today was bhaskar's last day as our driver. as of 2:55 this afternoon ravi is our new driver. it was a tough decision but we've decided that our comfort in the next year is with having a driver that is generally known to be honest and trustworthy. i made istikhara (a prayer asking for god for whatever is best when making a decision) and then met with the manager of facilities who makes all the decisions about driving.
wait back up.
so last night - bhaskar and i had a long talk where we (i) talked about honesty and how i felt when i learned about his dishonesty. i told him that kilometers didn't matter but it was the principle of being honest that was important to me. if i couldn't trust him with the books i couldn't trust him with my family. i asked him repeatedly if i could trust me and he assured me that i could. his responses were convincing and i felt that giving him another chance at honesty was the way for me to go.
backup a little more.
the manager of facilities came by and mentioned to me that my recently departed (left india not dead) friend's driver was available if i was interested in switching. ravi, has gotten rave reviews from my friend and from the management. he's trustworthy and honest. he has a pleasant demeanor. though tempted, i told the manager that i would get back to him after i spoke to bhaskar that night.
fast forward.
so i told the manager that i was ok with keeping bhaskar as my driver given that we talked and he seemed to be semi-sorry for what had happened and wanted to do better. the manager said that he would support me in any decision. he then asked the supervisor (reports to him) if this was the first time we had trouble with my driver. that's when things got clear. no, this wasn't the first time - this was his third warning. (ahem... three strikes and you're ...) when asked if the previous employee ever gave my driver bonuses, the supervisor said no - the occasional tip, yes - but the bonuses of magnitude which he asked for nope. so my suspicions were confirmed and i'm not one to marry someone to change 'em if you know what i mean. all praises are to Him for making my decision easier.
so in a memento-like narration, i come back to the point. bye bye bhaskar bhai bhai. ravi i will be seeing you sunny ravi. actually, he has sunday off.
thanks to all of you who offered your thoughts and advice. these are minuscule issues compared t the great challenges that people face every day in this world. i thank god that my problems are so small and so easily solved.
Monday, April 14, 2008
The Freaky Tailor
I was walking home from work one afternoon, when the watchman gave me a note which was written on the back sheet of some letter to the residents. It said something like, Hi, the other day you smiled at me...I'm a tailor and I do embroidery and stitching, etc etc. She does house visits and claims to know my neighbor. So I called her, her english was pretty good and she sounded educated...
This past week I've been trying to round up some nice dressy clothing for my cousins back home. The problem with finding dressy clothes here in Bangalore is that everything is short sleeves, or super ugly. So I had to go the unstitched outfits route...
I don't have much time during the day and my aunt was leaving in a week so I was desperate. So I asked her to come over and asked her to bring some work samples. So, one night she walks through our door looking a little disheveled, and smelling like sweat.
I told her to sit down...a while later she started showing me her work samples, which I admit were very neatly done. It lacked good design but at least there was workmanship. As my little "interview" proceeded, she began her life story. She has 3 kids and is divorced. She decided to sustain herself and refused to be a burden on her parents so she moved out of the house and took on random jobs in the field of clothing and tailoring.
She then went on to boast about her long list of clientele which included big department stores in the area. I told her she should look around and get an idea of new trends in fashion...(thought i'd help her understand her clothing is outdated) And she went on saying "Sumaiyya, by Allah's grrace, whatever idea is out there comes to my MIND without me even seeing it"...hmmm ok.
While looking at her work, she started telling me that she really wanted to do something for God so she married a poor man with the intention of making him a better, God fearing person...."Are you laughing yet?" she said. Freaked me out...the look on her face.
That was a grueling 2 hours more for me than her. I was freaking out but also real desperate to get this tailoring done. So I gave her one outfit to see how she works.
A couple days later, she came back with the outfit. She actually did a great job...
This past week I've been trying to round up some nice dressy clothing for my cousins back home. The problem with finding dressy clothes here in Bangalore is that everything is short sleeves, or super ugly. So I had to go the unstitched outfits route...
I don't have much time during the day and my aunt was leaving in a week so I was desperate. So I asked her to come over and asked her to bring some work samples. So, one night she walks through our door looking a little disheveled, and smelling like sweat.
I told her to sit down...a while later she started showing me her work samples, which I admit were very neatly done. It lacked good design but at least there was workmanship. As my little "interview" proceeded, she began her life story. She has 3 kids and is divorced. She decided to sustain herself and refused to be a burden on her parents so she moved out of the house and took on random jobs in the field of clothing and tailoring.
She then went on to boast about her long list of clientele which included big department stores in the area. I told her she should look around and get an idea of new trends in fashion...(thought i'd help her understand her clothing is outdated) And she went on saying "Sumaiyya, by Allah's grrace, whatever idea is out there comes to my MIND without me even seeing it"...hmmm ok.
While looking at her work, she started telling me that she really wanted to do something for God so she married a poor man with the intention of making him a better, God fearing person...."Are you laughing yet?" she said. Freaked me out...the look on her face.
That was a grueling 2 hours more for me than her. I was freaking out but also real desperate to get this tailoring done. So I gave her one outfit to see how she works.
A couple days later, she came back with the outfit. She actually did a great job...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Homesick
Today I'm very homesick. I miss a lot of things about home...
I miss its organization, cleanliness, my car, cakes, cupcakes, ice cream, friends, family...but I think the thing I miss the most is honesty and the value of integrity.
The first few months, I really enjoyed feeling like I belong here...mainly b/c I'm brown, know their language and culture and they don't differentiate me from them. They have a good understanding of who I am, my religious culture, etc. I can find a place to pray anywhere without being questioned and I can wear a scarf without being stared down.
Today I realize that my people are where I came from...I am American and I love that. The values that we hold are generally moral. We have our quirks and problems and our criminals but we have a system set up to enforce a general feeling of trust, security and justice. I'm not saying it's perfect and that we have it down but I think we are ahead of a lot of the East which is why I think we are generally better off than the rest of the world.
Recently, we've come face to face with the bitter realities of India: dishonesty. Our driver, Bhaskar was a guy we thought was the greatest driver in the world. He was so helpful, would go out of his way to help us out. Nice person to talk to, and we thought he was trustworthy....but recently he's been acting up and it's disappointing and heartbreaking.
Last week, he asked us for a salary...saying his previous client used to give him a certain amount every month in addition to the salary he gets from the company. After doing a little research, we find out that his previous client was a tight fisted millionaire...
A few weekends back we were thinking about going to Kerala to check it out. We thought we'd ask him what he thought of it...and he denied ever going there. This weekend, he took a long weekend off to go there to climb a mountain (a religious rite apparently), he says he does this every year.
A couple days ago, we found out he's been tallying our mileage double of what we used. We got an email from the guy in charge of transportation, Asif had a talk with him and apparently he went way over and that type of mileage is impossible if you hardly use the car. He gets paid by mileage supposedly.
Yup, I hope the list won't go on...but I will keep listing b/c it's just interesting to me. I don't understand how these people work and why they do what they do. The economic gap is very apparent here... and Bangalore is increasingly expensive...but I still feel that that's no excuse to let oneself cheat another for his own benefit. Regardless of the situation, honesty brings success whether its monetary or even that peaceful sense of satisfaction that you're getting things right.
Hope we all tread that path...
I miss its organization, cleanliness, my car, cakes, cupcakes, ice cream, friends, family...but I think the thing I miss the most is honesty and the value of integrity.
The first few months, I really enjoyed feeling like I belong here...mainly b/c I'm brown, know their language and culture and they don't differentiate me from them. They have a good understanding of who I am, my religious culture, etc. I can find a place to pray anywhere without being questioned and I can wear a scarf without being stared down.
Today I realize that my people are where I came from...I am American and I love that. The values that we hold are generally moral. We have our quirks and problems and our criminals but we have a system set up to enforce a general feeling of trust, security and justice. I'm not saying it's perfect and that we have it down but I think we are ahead of a lot of the East which is why I think we are generally better off than the rest of the world.
Recently, we've come face to face with the bitter realities of India: dishonesty. Our driver, Bhaskar was a guy we thought was the greatest driver in the world. He was so helpful, would go out of his way to help us out. Nice person to talk to, and we thought he was trustworthy....but recently he's been acting up and it's disappointing and heartbreaking.
Last week, he asked us for a salary...saying his previous client used to give him a certain amount every month in addition to the salary he gets from the company. After doing a little research, we find out that his previous client was a tight fisted millionaire...
A few weekends back we were thinking about going to Kerala to check it out. We thought we'd ask him what he thought of it...and he denied ever going there. This weekend, he took a long weekend off to go there to climb a mountain (a religious rite apparently), he says he does this every year.
A couple days ago, we found out he's been tallying our mileage double of what we used. We got an email from the guy in charge of transportation, Asif had a talk with him and apparently he went way over and that type of mileage is impossible if you hardly use the car. He gets paid by mileage supposedly.
Yup, I hope the list won't go on...but I will keep listing b/c it's just interesting to me. I don't understand how these people work and why they do what they do. The economic gap is very apparent here... and Bangalore is increasingly expensive...but I still feel that that's no excuse to let oneself cheat another for his own benefit. Regardless of the situation, honesty brings success whether its monetary or even that peaceful sense of satisfaction that you're getting things right.
Hope we all tread that path...
Friday, March 21, 2008
Holi, Good Friday, & Milad
Life in India has been very interesting so far. Not a day goes by where we learn something new and experience something totally alien. Today is the beginning of Holi and Good Friday and people here are also celebrating Milad un Nabi (the day the Prophet (s) was born).
I guess here in the south they celebrate things differently than other parts of India. Below, is the interior of the temple. The story goes like this: " Kamadeva is a god of love. Kama's body was destroyed when he shot his weapon at Shiva in order to disrupt his penance and help Parvati to marry Shiva. Shiva then opened his third eye, the gaze of which was so powerful that Kama's body was reduced to ashes. For the sake of Kama's wife Rati (passion), Shiva restored him, but only as a mental image, representing the true emotional and mental state of love rather than physical lust. The Holi bonfire is believed to be celebrated in commemoration of this event." (thank God for Wikipedia)
The streets are filled with festivities...
Our driver, Bhaskar was nice enough to take us around tonight to see how Karnataka celebrates Holi। We went to a Mandir in an area called Cubbonpet.
I guess here in the south they celebrate things differently than other parts of India. Below, is the interior of the temple. The story goes like this: " Kamadeva is a god of love. Kama's body was destroyed when he shot his weapon at Shiva in order to disrupt his penance and help Parvati to marry Shiva. Shiva then opened his third eye, the gaze of which was so powerful that Kama's body was reduced to ashes. For the sake of Kama's wife Rati (passion), Shiva restored him, but only as a mental image, representing the true emotional and mental state of love rather than physical lust. The Holi bonfire is believed to be celebrated in commemoration of this event." (thank God for Wikipedia)So you can't really see Kamadeva in the pic but he is behind the flowers on the left...Shiva is on the upper right and the 2 wives that belong to the 2 are in the middle. The 2nd day (which is tomorrow) they burn the statue of Kamadeva and enshroud his wife in a white sari which symbolizes her being a widow...after this the festivities of holi begin.
Afterwards, Bhaskar took us to multiple temples which were performing the same rituals। He then took us to the silk sari factory area of the district and showed us how silk saris are made। The hard silk sari below, costs rs। 600! It'd be cool to explore other factories and see what other types of saris are made।
Afterwards, Bhaskar took us to multiple temples which were performing the same rituals। He then took us to the silk sari factory area of the district and showed us how silk saris are made। The hard silk sari below, costs rs। 600! It'd be cool to explore other factories and see what other types of saris are made।
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
the MTR experience
So last night, Asif and I decided it might be fun to try a low budget, authentic South Indian meal. So we trekked out to Mavalli Tiffin Room on Lal Bagh Road. A good long ride away from where we're staying.The MTR experience:
We first needed to buy tokens for dinner which cost 90 rupees each. We were then told to wait in the "waiting hall" and thereafter were ushered into the "dining hall" where we sat down and waited.
One by one, men in lungis (above), walk in first placing a thalli plate in front of you, then a spoon, then water, then juice. Then came the food...
They first slopped a spoon of salad and chutney out of silver pails (which looked quite clean...made me happy).
Then came the real stuff: Okra, real south indian masala potatoes, and a thick amazing dosa! All slopped onto your plate. It was amazing, we had 2 dosas and were so content and full but little did we know that they'll be coming at us with more.
They came in with the rice dishes...I guess what they previously served was just an appetizer! They came in with what I think was sambar rice and yogurt on top. Then they served white rice with sambar on top. Then they came in with rasam (by then I just started denying food...I was going to explode). Following the rasam, came the buttermilk rice and then fruits with ice cream...which we both said no to but the lungi man insisted we try it. hehe...they force you even at restaurants, I thought.
After washing our hands, we exited through the kitchen. I think it's an MTR tradition for you to exit through there since they pride themselves in their cleanliness..and I don't blame them. It was quite clean...which would make me visit them time and again. Come visit us in B'lore and we'll take you!
For another perspective, visit: www.asifbaki.blogspot.com
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Yes, I'm moving to India
Yup, it's true. Asif and I are again moving, and this time to Bangalore, India. We stumbled upon an opportunity and we're taking it on. Asif will be (God-Willing) working for a year with Google on projects for India...whatever he's working on sounds very interesting (sorry I can't discuss it I don't think).
Not sure how this year will turn out. We're excited, sad, nervous all at the same time. We're looking forward to a year of adventures, new experiences and knowledge. We're quite nervous as well, don't know how life, in a country our parents left in order to establish a new life, will be like.
More than anything though, we're not looking forward to leaving great friends here in the Bay Area and Chicago as well as family. It will be difficult coming back a year later to see changes in the places and people we're familiar with...but I hope and pray that this year brings us closer to them and them to us.
We ask for your prayers...and visits :)
Not sure how this year will turn out. We're excited, sad, nervous all at the same time. We're looking forward to a year of adventures, new experiences and knowledge. We're quite nervous as well, don't know how life, in a country our parents left in order to establish a new life, will be like.
More than anything though, we're not looking forward to leaving great friends here in the Bay Area and Chicago as well as family. It will be difficult coming back a year later to see changes in the places and people we're familiar with...but I hope and pray that this year brings us closer to them and them to us.
We ask for your prayers...and visits :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)